Stop pretending.

This is one of the best things we can do to connect with teenagers. We need to take the fake-it-till-we-make-it strategy out of our parenting, teaching, pastoring, and mentoring tool box. We often pretend that we have teens, the world, or even ourselves figured out. But despite our best attempts, it seems teenagers have a super human ability to know when something is inauthentic or fake. Unfortunately we’re just not equipped to fly under their radar.

The best approach is always humility and understanding. Here is a quick three step plan I use for humility with teens:

1.   Never Pretend. Be vulnerable.
2.   Never Presume. Be curious.
3.   Never Push. Be open.

Many of the things that we try to do with the teens in our life go according to the saying:

"Things that can be pulled can’t be pushed, and things that can be pushed can’t be pulled."

Most of our attempts and strategies to get teens to listen can’t be pushed. When we are real, when we’re interested and invested in discovering their heart, the attention we desire will be drawn out at the appropriate time.